Now I was looking up at this hill recalling all the things I'd heard people saying about it along the way and in certain conversations. I don't know if I have enough gas in the tank to even walk up this hill let alone run it. But as my wife can attest, I'm very hard headed and when I've set my mind to something I'm gonna do it. I just wish I had applied that hard headedness to fitness 20 years ago instead of applying to a life of overeating and sedentariness. So, I dug deep. The kind of deep I've never found before. Down there in the darkest portions of your being. That's where I hide all my scars. All the emotional. All the physical. All the mental. That casymic place where I've buried all those scars from High School Bullies, and former bosses who were treating me unjust. All the times I've let people down. All those disappointments from an adoptive Father who saw me and treated me as nothing more than an inconvenience. I suddenly found how to tap into that energy and use it for something I can benefit from. I made it up the hill / mountain and felt a release like I've never felt before. I just conquered more than just a hill. MUCH MUCH more!!
The other side of the hill lead into downtown Fort Worth. I've still got my music BLARING now as I try to drown out the sound of a super supportive crowd. They were really cheering us all on. It's part of why so many runners like the Cowtown marathon, I suppose. There is a plethora of public support along the route. I ran strong through the streets of downtown and was still running on the adrenaline that had pushed me up the hill just a mile and a half behind me now. Knowing my emotional status, I was still trying to both ignore and acknowledge those who came to support the race.
The route has you take a right hand turn onto Lancaster Avenue to exit downtown and head back toward the plaza where the finish line is. I made the turn and ran toward the top of another small hill on Lancaster Avenue. As I peaked at the crest of this small hill, I could see Will Rogers Memorial Center where we had all began the race. I passed a sign indicating that I has arrived at the 11 mile mark. Now, I'm thinking I've only got 2 more miles left! I GOT THIS!! Then it dawned on me. I'm about to complete my very first half marathon. Less than 2 years ago, I was lying in a hospital with my wife worried sick about me. My daughter worried than she might loose her daddy. My mom wonder what is to come. Hoping she doesn't have to witness the death of one of her kids. Who would ever want to live longer than their own kids? I think about how my wife and daughter are somewhere down there near the finish line. Probably holding some kind of supportive sign or something to show me how much they love me and support my new healthier lifestyle. Just then one of my favorite songs from Third Day comes up on my play list. A song called "Never Bow Down". One of those really powerful, fistpumping, triumphany songs that hit my emotional cords on any given day. Let alone today, with all the other things I've thought about all the race route.
I broke out in tears! Singing at the top of my lungs running back down that hill. Using the anthem to stand up against my Cardiovascular issues. Beating back the old me that would have said, "If you see me running, it's because someone is chasing me with a knife!" I'm screaming out my kidney disease and banishing it to never hold me back again. I have the passing thought that I probably look like I may be in physical pain to those around me. But just as I have this thought, a lady ran up from behind me and patted me on the back and said, "I'm very proud of you! What an inspiration you are! Keep up the good. You're doing great." I could tell that she saw the tears in my eyes and she appeared to slow down just a few seconds as if she wanted to make sure I was ok. We ran silently just steps from one another for a bit. Then she took off after seeing that I had recovered from my breakdown. That's what's really cool about the running community. We're all one; because we all run. It's good stuff!!!
I continued on, glad that the sweat on my shirt served as camouflage for what might have been tear stains otherwise. The route continues on and makes a right on University drive where it wraps you around the front of Will Rogers Memorial Center. It was here, right around the 12.5 or 13 mile mark that I saw my daughter running along the sidewalk as I ran up to the final turn. She ran with me as we approached the place where my wife and mother-in-law were both there with signs and cheers. At this point, I've cried myself dry. I'm running on pure determination. But, I'm afraid that my wife might recognise the pain I was in. She is very observant and her servant's heart might lead out to stop me for the sake of protection. After all, now I'm fighting off cramps in my left calf and my I.T. bands are tighter than Grandpa Jones' banjo strings. Pardon the Hee Haw reference. I'm a nostalgic fan.
I fight through the pain and make the last right hand turn toward the plaza. Now I can see the big inflatable timing archway about 75 yards in front of me. And DANGIT! I'm not done with the tears. I crossed the finish line and claim my medal and the volunteers hand them out to everyone crossing the finish line. Another volunteer sees my crying and holding my hands on my head to help me catch my breath. She comes over concerned that I might be in distress. She asks if I'm ok. And I can only must the response "I DID IT!!" I managed a smile as a looked at her and she smiled back pointing at my shirt and said, "Good job".
Anyone who has ran the Cowtown, knows that when you cross the finish line your are corralled into a water area and told to drink at least on 16 oz of bottle of water. Then, the only direction you can proceed is through the food area with all the usual recover delights abounding. Bananas, Chocolate Milk, Pickle Juice, and all the others. I had all the above and proceeded to try and find my family. Because, we were supposed to go get a free beer from the Michelob Ultra truck. I'm a HUGE beer fan. But, I was glad I had some time to catch my breath and my emotions before hand. I finally met up with my family and opted to hang out in the expo where it was air conditioned and we could get some free yogurt. I even made a cheap John Stamos joke as I enjoyed my blueberry flavored Oikos yogurt.
I had done it! I could tell by the runner high that I was on that I was addicted to running. I LOVE IT! And just like sooo many others I had to get a picture with my medals for completing the Cowtown Challenge.
With a finish time of 2:24:57 I was longer than my goal of 2:15 but I was happy still. Very proud of myself!
Just a few days afterward, I set my goals for 2014. I want to run 4 Half Marathons by the end of the year and join whatever team I saw along the route that carrying the USA flags in honor of our nations veterans. So, far I'm up to 3 half marathons and I've joined team RWB. But, I can tell you about all how those went later.Cheers!
Happiness is a choice; make it daily
No comments:
Post a Comment